The Office - Tribute

The Office – Tribute to our warriors.

The 2011 Rugby World Cup Squad.

This week’s episode of The Office won’t be the usual witty banter and silly stories of what we get up to on a bi-weekly basis. No, this episode is dedicated to a team that we as South Africans have grown to love, through sickness and in health, The Springboks.

Every four years the Rugby World Cup comes around and provides teams with the opportunity to let go of the past and focus entirely on this 7 week tournament where composure, both on and off the field, is tested on a permanent basis. Smaller nations look forward to the excitement of playing against the world’s best and the whole experience of a world cup. The top nations are focusing completely on achieving one thing, ultimate victory, the chance to say “We are the best team in the world”, an opportunity to right all past wrongs and lay claim to a small golden cup that symbolizes the pure passion for rugby union, shared by all the competing nations.

John Smit lifting the trophy in 2007

In South Africa that passion has a deeper meaning however. Sport for South Africans is not defined as “just a game”. Sport has brought this nation together, a nation with such an intense history and divided past, that together with Nelson Mandela and a speech made my Francois Pienaar at the 1995 Rugby World Cup he united us in a way that can never be broken. From that point onwards, rugby, and the Springboks have become more than just a rugby team, they have become the ambassadors and warriors of a nation. A nation that does not define itself by the strength of the Rand or the number of exports, but by the power we have to unite and write our own destinies. The once again won the Rugby World Cup in 2007, re-igniting the unbridled passion for this great nation. The Soccer World Cup did much the same as we all adopted Bafana Bafana and united behind them as we hosted an incredibly successful world cup. A year later, we would unite again.

World Cup supporters poster

2011. Rugby World Cup. We united once again behind our team, our ambassadors, our warriors who were about to go to battle. I watched a program called Cup of Glory, which was about New Zealand and their passion for the All Blacks and what it means to them and they said something that made sense to me. They asked why we as fans feel such passion, why do we get angry or sad, why do we go into a depression when our team loses? It goes back to our ancestry, back to a time when the finest warriors in the land had to defend their land from the enemy, and it was the idea that those chosen men were representing every single person in the land and fighting to the death to defend it. We do not have those kinds of battles anymore, but it can be likened to our passion for sport and the team that essentially represents us. A team that whenever it is announced we all have an opinion on, because we feel that we are represented by them, that they are defending our honour.

Jaque Fourie unable to believe the loss.

It was that honour that took a major blow when the Springboks lost to Australia on Sunday. Watching that game, watching those 22 men give absolutely everything, every fiber of their beings, in order to be victorious, only to be found short in the end… that was heart breaking. Not only because we lost, but because it is the end of an era. To see John Smits face after the game, a man who has not only represented his country as a sportsman, but who was been an ambassador for South Africa and the game of rugby, and to see his complete disappointment, was hard to watch. It made me want to shake his hand and say, “Boet, in all the years we have watched you do battle for us, we have watched you carry our nation with your comrades in arms, and although you may have lost today, this will never take away the pride, the joy and the passion you have given us as a nation. So let us carry you home”

You may look at this and think I am taking it too far, “it’s just a game, there will be others”. My response, this is not just a game, it’s not just a sport, it’s a representation of all that is important in this life: passion, determination, self-belief, courage, grace and camaraderie. John Smit is not just a rugby player, him and players like Victor Matfield, Percy Montgomery, Fourie du Preez, and Bakkies Botha, are a group of men that have taught us what it is to be committed, passionate and selfless. We bid them farewell, not the farewell they would have planned, but life has a way of reminding us of what is truly important. And for these guys, that is now their families.

So it is with pride, gratitude, and complete appreciation, that we bid them farewell, the greatest group of players we have had, and will have for a while, giants of the game, thank you for every moment. Hold your heads high and move forward. The new guard holds exciting prospects and the new coach, whoever it is, will have a wealth of talent to choose from. I can only hope that they internalize the examples that have been left for them, and take this great nation to where it deserves to be, at the top of the world.

South Africa is and always will be, my country, my team, my home.

GREEN AND GOLD FOREVER. 

The Office - World Cup Rugby and PVR

Two weeks have passed since the last episode and it has been a hive of activity with productivity levels reaching a new high! well... maybe not a new high but it's been pretty good.

To begin this week we have make mention of the events at the Rugby World Cup, and for those of you who don't know what it is, it is 7 weeks of glorious tackles, tries, jubilation and heartbreak. Firstly, thank the dogs balls that we beat Wales (Go Bokke!) and lets hope we are more convincing against the Fijians tomorrow. Who of you saw the game USA vs. Russia? Well besides being a battle of the minnows, a fight broke out during the game and I couldn't help but notice the air of liberation and relief as they all let go of their Cold War frustrations. Well done guys, well done.








On a more local front, the Officers have been full of the usual stories... lets begin with The Jew.

Besides his usual knee-slappers, the He and his girlfriend are attempting to complete the Fish River Canoe marathon in a couple weeks and he has been very disciplined, he has thought about training every single day, whether he has or hasn't is immaterial. Good Luck Jew, shotgun your car if you don't make it back. It was the Jews moms birthday today and in true Jew style, he made her call him... ya, we know.  

Mr Couta, post-move, has been a noticeably happier man... but also noticeably more late. His punctuality has been a cause for concern, but the Jew pointed out that by leaving later he misses the traffic, thereby using less fuel and in fact saving money. Jew for minister of finance! Currently, Mr Couta is on his way to Mozambique to "work" on his project of sampling couta (fish) although we maintain this cannot be called work. Just can't. 

The Winner saw his rugby season come to an end with a great victory in the knock-out cup final as well as being nominated for player of the year...sadly he did not win the award but he assures us it is about taking part that counts.... we not buying it, we saw him crying. There there big guy...

Finally, the Weatherman...oh the Weatherman. Once again he was "sick" although he claims to have been struck by the infamous "Duzi-Guts" he came back remarkably more tanned upon his return to work. 


But the most exciting part of the week was the making of a short film for the supersport PVR competition. The Officers completed a glorious short piece which will be up for an Academy award later this year. Please go check it out under "WIN" and PVR Competition on the www.supersport.com website 


Next week we announce our Spring Hottie of the Month, Miss September and she is a stunner so don't miss it!!


Till next time folks, as always, safety first... then teamwork. 
P.S. We love Spring... ;) 

The Office - Time to get a move on...

The week’s activities including some from last weekend…

The Winner played his penultimate rugby game (of the season 2010 / 11) last weekend, and although no one was fortunate enough to witness the match, he ensures us that he ran in for two tries, and was in the running for man of the match. Needless to say his team won and have advanced to the finals this weekend, no good luck wishes needed….he’s a WINNER already!

The Jew and Weather Man attempted a canoe race on the Umgeni River, accompanied by there DRUNK, but trusty second Mr. Couta. When dropped off there was no time to explain to Mr. Couta how to get to the finish, and he was wished a fond fair well as Jew and Weather Man hit the water….

Turns out Weather Man is not as skilled as the Jew in a canoe. Let’s leave it at that! Jew, with a wet and cold Weather Man in tow managed to limp to the half way point and luckily hitched a ride to the finish, hoping like hell to find Mr. Couta there, AND he was! (no one, not even he, knows how he did it!) What a legend! A fun and eventful day it was!

The week saw the Weather Man off to a conference (with his surf board on his car mind you) at Port Edward. Yet again there is know way of know his exact where abouts!? However, at said conference he met is idol and childhood hero...Simon Gear! So struck by awe, he was unable to converse with Simon but says it was the single bets moment in his life. 

The Jew did some form of work. He is unable to explain exactly what though! And has been complaining endlessly about the windy conditions, it seems he is always cycling into a storm on his daily cycle home (you not saving that much on petrol my Jewish friend!) he and the Winner also attended the SEXPO and great fun was had by all, as the food and wine was excellent.. and so were the 18 inch double-sided didlo's on offer.. 

And Winner has almost completed the corrections to a chapter of his thesis (do less, seriously do less!)

Today (Friday), is a big day for Mr. Couta and the Weather Man who have both relocated (and seem very happy with there moves!)

Weather Man was finally able to break the restraints of living with his girlfriend and has moved into a large luxurious house in Durban North (excuse you!), with the boys. We look forward to a few good pool parties there!

Mr. Couta has moved into a garden flat, next door to his future ex-wife! Who we are told has a large “herb” garden growing. We wish him luck! Don’t let the smoke cloud your good judgment my friend! And hopefully we will crack the nod to a braai some time soon!

Last but not least, the Rugby World Cup is 7 days away now, and after that resounding send off that the Boks were given in Joburg you can't help but grow a belief that the boys can do it!! So from the Office...and the other 49,999,996 people in RSA, we right being you guys... bring it home!!

Happy spring to all! And let the good times roll!

The Office - Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner... and Man stuff.

The last two weeks have been tumultuous (I know, big word for a Friday) to say the least and we are just glad we all made it out alive!

Two weekends ago, Mr Couta and The Jew went camping with friends in order to take part in a trail run outside Durban. Now if you have ever been camping and made use of a camp site, that there is always "that" group of people in the camp site. Well, our Officers were part of said group. Not only did they manage to get plastered the night before running 21km, but they also managed to ensure everyone else stayed up to enjoy their festivities. It did, however, turn out to be a successful run for The Jew and Mr Couta as they both ran superbly... real athletes can push themselves into all sorts of situations. 

This past weekend, The Winner struck gold... in two moments of sheer brilliance he was able to win, not only, 2 tickets to the Springbok Test, but then 10 tickets to the Playboy party after the test. Needless to say, fun was had by all and even though the Bokke lost, I am still 100% behind the Bokke for the Rugby World Cup which is in exactly 21 days time!Keen!

The Officers next mission is to win a competition on Supersport whereby you have to say why you love PVR...and we have an ingenious idea (we can't tell you yet ;) ). On that note, besides the many advantages to PVR, one stands out amongst the rest: PAUSE. Every man (and some women) has used this function in order to admire those 'close-ups' and that in itself has made sporting events such as Wimbledon that little bit better... ;) We plan on submitting before the end of the month and will let you all know how we do.

On Wednesday morning, The Weatherman was out having a paddle on the Umgeni River when he noticed a bird splashing in the water, obviously in distress. As he paddled closer he saw that it needed saving. As he wasn't too stable on his boat he accidentely dunked the poor little bird with his paddle while trying to lift it out. Nevertheless he managed to rescue the little swift, who after sleeping it off in our office, eventually flew out. 


It was decided that, after this story, in this episode we should address the lack of "Man" moments occurring on a day-to-day basis. Here we have made suggestions to remedy this:

1. Manners maketh a man - This phrase still applies and most women, still enjoy the door being opened for them. So don't be a knob, be a man.


2. Listen - While none of the Officers profess to be the best at this particular task, it has been found to work in the past. When females talk, between the babble about a new handbag and some special on perfume, they will provide you with information that may make, or break, your chances.


3. DO NOT WEAR CROCS. 


4. Real men don't wear skinny jeans. Period.


5. Speedo's - Every man should own one, whether you were a lifesaver or a swimmer at the primary school gala, keep it. 


6. Castle Lite - A drink for Metro's the world over, and people from Joburg. Either you need to go for a run or be proud of your scoop. 


7. Fire - Real men need to know how to start a fire without Blitz... yes, even Joburg guys. Chances are they'll be out of electricity before we will.


8. Men do NOT wear make-up. EVER. (Except for dress up parties. And that time you were in the school play)


9. Dogs - Unless its a Jack Russell, real men do not own a dog with a shoulder height of less than 50cm.


10. DIY - If you don't know how to do it, pretend you do. (And call another man to come and help. A beer and some brainstorming always gets the job done)


Now, go into the world and take back your Man-ness...


We leave you with that folks and as always, remember, safety first then teamwork. 

Hottie of the Month

After the inaugural Hottie of the Month, Miss Yolandi Malherbe, made such a splash it was only fair to follow on with another stunner. 


This gorgeous woman has not only graced the cover of Cosmopolitan, been the face of Guess, and posed for Maxim, but she has also featured in the Playboy (the US edition). A local girl with loads of 'gees' there can only be one, and some say she is it. Please enter stage left...

Miss Candice Boucher

Firstly Cands, thank you so much for answering a few questions for us and agreeing to be our August-Hottie of the month! We are all huge fans and love the fact that you also enjoy the outdoors ;)


Lets get to those all important questions from our Officers...First up, The Jew.

The Jew asked: Do you own a bicycle? If so, how often do you ride it?

Candice: I don't own a bicycle. LOL!! I only recently learned how to ride one on a shoot. ON THE BEACH of all places. 


We can only imagine the strain those legs must have taken on the beach, but we do encourage physical activity. 

Mr Couta asked: Have you ever been deep-sea fishing? How deep was it?

Candice: No deep sea fishing. But still waiting for an opportunity


Should you ever visit the golden sands of Durban, we would be happy to take you out... and maybe do some fishing to ;)

The Weatherman asked: With our recent inclement weather, have you ever built a snow man? If so, what was used as the nose? 

Candice: I built a snowman years ago in mooiriver once on the side of the road. Mmmm think we used a stick we found. 

Mooiriver, can't say any of us have been but we sure will be glad to bump into you, or a snowman, with a stick... hahaha.. 

The Winner asked: The modelling industry seems competitive, have you ever lost a fight?

Candice: LOL!!! I am slowly building up my strength in the gym, I haven't lost a fight just yet only as I haven't been involved in one.. I am waiting for my day. I do however have a sharp tongue when I choose to.

We love the confidence and agree that baseline strength & fitness are the keys to success... well that and good right hook :)

Miss Boucher, it has been a pleasure! Please stop by any time for fishing, diving or anything really! We wish you the best for the rest of the year and may the force be with you... and your sharp tongue ;) 


There you are guys, hope that made your Monday a little less blue!  From us in the Office, have a smashing week and remember, safety first... then teamwork.

P.S. Don't stare... ;) 

The Office - Rands and sense

It is often said that taking care of the cents will result in the Rands taking care of themselves. This was not the case for our intrepid young officers. 


The Weatherman planned a trip to Mozambique for this long weekend and invited The Jew to come along, as one does. The Jew asked if Weatherman could send him a cost breakdown when he had one ready. Needless to say when Thursday arrived, The Jew found himself abandoned and in fact excluded from the plans to go to Mozambique. There is still tension between the two.

They've taken the clothes off Mr Couta's back

Mr Couta has taken the minimalist approach in eating relatively cheap meals but then considered moving to a house so far away from work that he would have to leave an hour earlier than he does now as well as spend a fortune on petrol. The Jew suggested he get a bicycle.

The Winner hard at "work"

Winner had a quiet week in which he consolidated his effort at work and resumed his rigorous training regime. Needless to say, after taking his Scooter for a service he is back to pasta and baked beans for the month. The Jew suggested he get a bicycle. 

The Jew and his bicycle

During a tea time break, The Jew suggested we all stop spending R5 coins and keep them in a jar... the three officers swiftly stood up and left the Jew to think about what he had done.

                                     

The National Science Week Emblem and an hairy angler fish

The Weatherman, Winner and the Jew all gave presentations during National Science Week which took place this week. As the Weatherman isn't really a scientist he gave a "Life Talk", The Jew made little kids touch prawns, and The Winner handed out shark teeth to promote self-defense at a young age. On a serious note though, so many bright young minds were present and it is promising for the future of Science in our country.


That's all for this week but as an added extra, for all of you in need of some advice for the long weekend we give to you the 7 P's:


Prior
Preparation and
Planning
Prevent
Piss
Poor
Performance.


Have a super weekend and remember folks, safety first... then teamwork.

The Office - It rained and rained and rained (Winnie The Poo, 1991)

Well yes, it has rained a lot this week in Durban, but the humour in the office was not dampened one bit!

 Top: Weatherman, Mr Couta and the Winner

Below: The Weatherman and his new ride

Last week Friday… Winner and Weather Man took a tour of the snorkel lagoon at UShaka Marine World, the weather was less than ideal, but Mr. Couta was kind enough to give them a personal tour of his natural world! Jew was probably just hanging around some where being Jewish!? 

Special congratulations go out to The Winner and his Rovers team mates for winning their rugby league. *golf clap* 

 Weatherman playing bubbles

Monday (it started raining)

Work has been slow in and around the office, largely due to the weather. Officers have had to find other ways of entertaining themselves, with out ability to take long tea breaks in the sun. Computer games such as Bubbles, Mini Golf and Bang Bang #2 have risen in popularity within the office.

Tuesday / Wednesday (it was still raining), but Weather Man and Couta managed to squeeze in a lunch break surf… More of a run than a surf but we won’t judge. Mr. Couta, taking a leaf from Jew’s book gave him self a hair cut, its looks awesome from the front….

Mr Couta as Conan the Barbarian

By this time the cabin fever was starting to set in! Personal attacks had reached a new level and the High Scores in the gaming world were going through the roof! (Set foremost by the Jew) Mr Couta was quoted during a verbal clash as saying: “F**k me, no, f**k you Pal.” Things settled down quickly after that, no one fights with Mr Couta.

Thursday was the day Weather Man would rather want to forget, as his two day forecast went pear shaped when yet again “that wind and rain came out of no where, no one on earth could have predicted that….damn you WindGuru!” We suggested he contact Rob van Dam at eNews.

 Happy Birthday Gandolph

Today, a special day, not because it’s raining again, but because a dolphin is celebrating his 40^th year on his long (very long) swim to freedom. One day buddy one day! Other than that, no work has taken place at all, it’s been glorious!

We hope you all enjoyed the inaugural Hottie of The Month!

The Jew’s three rules to live by (he considerers them more guide lines, BUT LIVE BY THEM!)

1)      Don’t stress, it’ll kill you

2)      Never, EVER, bet your bottom dollar, you never know when you may need extra cash

3)      Waste not, want not

So till next time folks, and especially in this inclement weather, safety first... then teamwork!

Hottie of the Month

The members of The Office took an executive decision to incorporate one fine female specimen every month into the blog. Criteria for Hottie of the Month are as follows: 

1. 100% Female 

2. Hot 

3. Nice elbows 

4. Awesome personality, because that is what really counts.

Each Hottie will be asked One question by each Officer.

As the inaugural Hottie of Month, the choice was obvious... *drum roll*

...Miss Yolandi Malherbe!!! 

Yolandi, a.k.a. Juicy Jemma on Twitter, was the Playboy Playmate of the month for July this year and received glorious praise from all who witnessed her exquisite spread. When we approached her to be featured on our blog she was only too happy to oblige. Thank you Yolandi... 

Questions from the Officers:

The Weatherman asked: "What percentage does your pimp take?"

Yolandi: "My pimp takes 10%, but if he gets to watch, he doesn't take anything"

10% is fair, although we would probably keep you all to ourselves...

The Jew asked: "Have you, would you, date a jew?"

Yolandi: "Dr. Motykie from Dr 90210 is jewish and I'd date him. Loads of perks that come with this package."

You bet there are...

Mr Couta asked: "What is your bait of choice when fishing?"

Yolandi: "It depends what I fish for or where I go fishing. The last time I went fishing, I did it in my bikini and I caught the biggest fish. Or at least, went home with the biggest fish. And 2 surfers."

We all appreciate that you are willing to take more than one home... by the way did we mention that we surf?

The Winner asked: "Rate me on a scale of 1 to 10"

Yolandi: "Winners usually take 1st place, so I'd rate 1."

The Winner assumes 1 is the highest, obviously...

That is it for our Hottie of the Month Miss Yolandi Malherbe, we suggest you follow her on Twitter >> @JuicyJemma << and if by chance you see her out and about... please, buy the girl a drink!

From all of us here at The Office, thank you Yolandi and we hope to see more of you... *wink*