The Office - It rained and rained and rained (Winnie The Poo, 1991)

Well yes, it has rained a lot this week in Durban, but the humour in the office was not dampened one bit!

 Top: Weatherman, Mr Couta and the Winner

Below: The Weatherman and his new ride

Last week Friday… Winner and Weather Man took a tour of the snorkel lagoon at UShaka Marine World, the weather was less than ideal, but Mr. Couta was kind enough to give them a personal tour of his natural world! Jew was probably just hanging around some where being Jewish!? 

Special congratulations go out to The Winner and his Rovers team mates for winning their rugby league. *golf clap* 

 Weatherman playing bubbles

Monday (it started raining)

Work has been slow in and around the office, largely due to the weather. Officers have had to find other ways of entertaining themselves, with out ability to take long tea breaks in the sun. Computer games such as Bubbles, Mini Golf and Bang Bang #2 have risen in popularity within the office.

Tuesday / Wednesday (it was still raining), but Weather Man and Couta managed to squeeze in a lunch break surf… More of a run than a surf but we won’t judge. Mr. Couta, taking a leaf from Jew’s book gave him self a hair cut, its looks awesome from the front….

Mr Couta as Conan the Barbarian

By this time the cabin fever was starting to set in! Personal attacks had reached a new level and the High Scores in the gaming world were going through the roof! (Set foremost by the Jew) Mr Couta was quoted during a verbal clash as saying: “F**k me, no, f**k you Pal.” Things settled down quickly after that, no one fights with Mr Couta.

Thursday was the day Weather Man would rather want to forget, as his two day forecast went pear shaped when yet again “that wind and rain came out of no where, no one on earth could have predicted that….damn you WindGuru!” We suggested he contact Rob van Dam at eNews.

 Happy Birthday Gandolph

Today, a special day, not because it’s raining again, but because a dolphin is celebrating his 40^th year on his long (very long) swim to freedom. One day buddy one day! Other than that, no work has taken place at all, it’s been glorious!

We hope you all enjoyed the inaugural Hottie of The Month!

The Jew’s three rules to live by (he considerers them more guide lines, BUT LIVE BY THEM!)

1)      Don’t stress, it’ll kill you

2)      Never, EVER, bet your bottom dollar, you never know when you may need extra cash

3)      Waste not, want not

So till next time folks, and especially in this inclement weather, safety first... then teamwork!

Hottie of the Month

The members of The Office took an executive decision to incorporate one fine female specimen every month into the blog. Criteria for Hottie of the Month are as follows: 

1. 100% Female 

2. Hot 

3. Nice elbows 

4. Awesome personality, because that is what really counts.

Each Hottie will be asked One question by each Officer.

As the inaugural Hottie of Month, the choice was obvious... *drum roll*

...Miss Yolandi Malherbe!!! 

Yolandi, a.k.a. Juicy Jemma on Twitter, was the Playboy Playmate of the month for July this year and received glorious praise from all who witnessed her exquisite spread. When we approached her to be featured on our blog she was only too happy to oblige. Thank you Yolandi... 

Questions from the Officers:

The Weatherman asked: "What percentage does your pimp take?"

Yolandi: "My pimp takes 10%, but if he gets to watch, he doesn't take anything"

10% is fair, although we would probably keep you all to ourselves...

The Jew asked: "Have you, would you, date a jew?"

Yolandi: "Dr. Motykie from Dr 90210 is jewish and I'd date him. Loads of perks that come with this package."

You bet there are...

Mr Couta asked: "What is your bait of choice when fishing?"

Yolandi: "It depends what I fish for or where I go fishing. The last time I went fishing, I did it in my bikini and I caught the biggest fish. Or at least, went home with the biggest fish. And 2 surfers."

We all appreciate that you are willing to take more than one home... by the way did we mention that we surf?

The Winner asked: "Rate me on a scale of 1 to 10"

Yolandi: "Winners usually take 1st place, so I'd rate 1."

The Winner assumes 1 is the highest, obviously...

That is it for our Hottie of the Month Miss Yolandi Malherbe, we suggest you follow her on Twitter >> @JuicyJemma << and if by chance you see her out and about... please, buy the girl a drink!

From all of us here at The Office, thank you Yolandi and we hope to see more of you... *wink*

The Office - Not everything that is sweet, is apple pie

Many a life lesson was learnt this week in the Office. It all began with the Jew playing with hot wax. It was in fact for his masters but needless to say, whilst performing the intricate procedure of setting organic matter in wax, someone shouted from the back “Don’t put it there, it’ll stick”. Needless to say, the Jew found wax in places that no man should (bar Ricky Martin).

Getting tarred with the same brush… Mr Couta learnt this valuable lesson when Faggel tried to make him pay for a fishing rod that Faggel had broken when Mr Couta was in the vicinity. Tut tut Faggel… Tut tut.

The Weatherman, while reliving his youth by surfing every morning this week, discovered that life is better together (Thanks Jack). While in between houses, the Weatherman has moved in with his girlfriend and has settled in quite well. We believe the reluctance to move is well founded when you don’t have to cook or clean.

If you can’t catch ‘em, eat ‘em. This was the approach Mr Couta used when he failed to capture his first Couta. Sometimes it’s just easier to go with the flow Mr Couta.

Kids have more fun! The Winner was the personification of this phrase as he and his friends frolicked in the water park and snorkel lagoon during his lunch break. After the break the Winner was quoted as saying “It’s the little things gents, the little things” which was swiftly followed by a statement regarding a female and her breasts. Maybe not always the little things big guy…

The Winner and friends...

The weekend promises to provide entertainment for all as the Jew and Mr Couta partake in a trail run, while the Winner will play rugby and a festive game of golf and the Weatherman will probably enjoy an early night with red wine and cuddles with his wife *cough* I mean girlfriend…

The Weatherman...

So until next time folks, remember, Safety first…then teamwork!

Coming next week: The Weatherman bends the rules and the Jew provides 3 rules to live by. Don’t miss it J

AND Wednesday Special: Hottie to watch (One girl who we think deserves all your attention and a drink if you see her out)

The Office - Confucius Say

FIRSTLY, let me apologize for the delay in transmission on behalf of all of us. Now back to The Office...


The last 3 weeks has been filled with much drama, delight and delirium. Here below is a pic from our walk around the dolphinarium... yes it really is called that. While on tour the Weatherman was tasked with taking pictures...hence his absence from the pic below.

 Left to Right: The Jew, Faggel, The Winner and Mr Couta

Frodo the dolphin :)

Confucius say: He who go to Grahamstown festival, will get sick. This was true for The Weatherman, who after travelling back to his homestead, subsequently contracted the black lung. This was confirmed when calling him at home, from the office, and asking if he was ok. His response was: "Ja.. *cough*.. I should be back in two days *cough*" his recovery is being monitored carefully by his girlfriend.

Meanwhile, The Jew and Mr Couta attended the Durban July. Confucius say: Man who lose wallet, find beer.Much fun was had by all, to the extent where The Jew had his wallet stolen but managed to return home with more beer than he went with. On Monday, after calling lost and found, he was able to collect all his cards. Jew said "Ah, that was an Uzzi wallet" (like those are expensive??) 

Confucius say: Man with two birds, has one stone. Mr Couta was in such high spirits on Sunday we had to enquire as to why. His answer "I woke up in between 2 girls" This was met with a golf clap (2 fingers to the opposite palm) and "Jolly good show old boy".

The Winner enjoyed a sojourn home where he attended the 21st of his little sister. Confucius say: Man who find oil, strike gold. This was however, found to be false. As Winner realized that scented oil on his upper body resulted in an irritated skin and lack of female attention. Fail.

The moral of all these stories is this: Waste not, want not. So...till next time folks, remember: safety first... then team work. 




PREVIEW for next episode: The Jew gets messy with hot wax and could Mr Couta have caught his first Couta (King mackerel)... tune in next week to find out ;)